Embody Your Energy

63. One More Day: Life-Saving Tools From Positive Psychology with Niyc Pidgeon

Charlotte Carter

*** TRIGGER WARNING: THIS EPISODE MAKES FREQUENT REFERENCES TO SUICIDE ***

Imagine a single conversation having the power to completely transform a life – or even save it. Sounds impossible?

Not for Niyc, an incredible positive psychologist who's turned her own survival story into a mission of healing and empowerment.

From surviving childhood bullying and a suicide attempt to becoming a passionate mental health advocate, Niyc's journey is nothing short of extraordinary.

We're diving deep into her latest book and the ripple effect of vulnerability. Picture this: a reader who found renewed hope, recommitted to life, and discovered that those dark, overwhelming moments are truly temporary. We'll break down why sometimes just holding on for "one more day" can change everything.

But we're not stopping at inspiration – we're talking big vision! Niyc's incredible goal: touching a billion lives through positive psychology coaching by certifying 10,000 coaches who will spread hope like wildfire.

And for all you goal-getters, Niyc's got an upcoming TED talk on suicide prevention and a new book, "Unstoppable Success," that blends business wisdom with positive psychology. Trust me, you don't want to miss this!

CONNECT WITH NIYC

New book - One More Day: https://www.amazon.co.uk/One-More-Day-Positive-Psychology/dp/183782200X

Website: https://www.Niycpidgeon.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/niycpidgeon
Free book: https://www.nowisyourchancebook.com/now-is-your-chance-u-1
Positive Psychology Coach Academy Certification: https://niyc-pidgeon.mykajabi.com/positive-psychology-coach-academy-1

CONNECT WITH CHARLOTTE

Website: https://www.idaretoleap.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamcharlottecarter
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/idaretoleap

7 Day Experience (starting 6th January 2025): https://idaretoleap.com/lp/activate-and-claim-your-path-to-success-for-2025

ULTRA (Charlotte's signature programme): https://idaretoleap.com/services/ultra

Interested in working with Charlotte? Schedule your free no-obligation call here:
https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/bookings/charlottescalendar

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Becoming Fearless, the personal growth podcast for you if you are ready to overcome fear and step into your greatness. Our purpose is to help you overcome your limits, have loads of fun along the way, unlocking your fullest potential in life, business, health and relationships every single day. I'm your host, charlotte Carter, a high performance coach and entrepreneur with over 20 years experience. I'm your host, charlotte Carter, a high-performance coach and entrepreneur with over 20 years experience. I've supported many highly driven, talented people like you who dream big and are ready to take action to overcome what's holding them back. Each week, my guests and I will be sharing hacks and habits on how to build self-belief, courage and confidence, to master your mindset and navigate your emotions so that you can reach your human potential in a way that feels light, fun and easeful and helps you become fearless.

Speaker 1:

Let's go Hello and welcome everybody to another episode of Becoming Fearless. I'm excited this is a guest episode for your ears and it's the first time I've had a repeat guest. So Nick is with me, which is one of my brilliant mentors from the past and somebody who I really admire. So please go look at the other episode if you want to know a bit more about Nick's background and like how we know each other, and a bit of Nick's journey about becoming fearless, because this episode is a really laser focused episode. This is an episode that has a real meaning and purpose behind it, so please make sure you listen to both, but stay tuned for this one, because it's going to be really impactful. So, nick, let people know who you are, what your big mission is and what this episode is really going to be about.

Speaker 2:

I am a Geordie girl who now lives across in Los Angeles, with a background in positive psychology, who is on a mission to help the world become more mentally healthy, and I feel like that mission is just the most important work that I can be doing in this world right now. I just see there's so much challenge that we're going through so many big changes in the world and we need better tools to be able to navigate that so that we feel capable to be able to cope.

Speaker 1:

So let's just dive into a little bit about where this mission first came from. Nick, if you think about, you're so well known as being like such a talented woman in so many ways, but this thread has been running throughout your life for a long time, really, hasn't? It's been like a soul's journey type of thread and that's been birthed in in abundance now. But where would you say this kind of started this journey for people to be able to pick up for you, your own personal journey on this story?

Speaker 2:

It's really crazy because I didn't ever think that I would become a positive psychologist who's so passionate about suicide prevention specifically, and it's. I mean, it's easy when you connect the dots backwards, isn't it? And I can see now that this was always my path. I just didn't fully own it until these last few years. So when I was 11, I got bullied really badly in high school. I just started high school and I remember it was like a Tuesday morning and I was so scared to go into school. My parents knew that I was getting bullied, the school knew, but you know what it's like. There's only so much that they can do. So I really didn't want to go in because Tuesdays were pee. And that's when I got bullied the worst, because I couldn't sit and just get on with my work in a structured lesson and classroom. And so that morning I took all of the pills in my mum's medicine cabinet and I had a suicide attempt. Now I felt so unwell really quickly that I ended up telling her what I'd done and she called my dad. She called the hospital, she got my dad to meet us there and come home from work, and then I was pulled out of school, stayed in hospital for two days, was pulled out of school, was homeschooled for six months and never went back there and used that as a like a new, second chance to get a new lease of life. Now, quite honestly, that had happened and I put it out of my mind to such a huge extent. I had never had mental health issues, aside from that suicide attempt, and I grew up wanting to become a mechanical and automotive engineer and didn't study psychology at high school at all. I then had a complete career swerve and I decided that because I saw the power of a single conversation to completely shift your perspective and then be able to transform your behavior and the trajectory of your life. Because of that I decided that, with no prior experience, I was going to go study to be a psychologist. So I did a couple of degrees mainly focused on the psychology of the body. So my first degree was psychology with sports science and then I did positive psychology with a specialism in physical activity in the body. So it was always around how you can move your body to move your mood, how psychology is not a neck up discipline. It's actually so much about our feelings and emotions, the way that we feel inside of this physical body from the neck down as well. So that was kind of my steps to learning the science of positive psychology.

Speaker 2:

And then, when I was in my twenties, I had three of my three, three of my close friends, who died by suicide, and the first one is a shock. The second one makes even less sense. Then I have a third friend to die in exactly the same way. It felt like things were completely falling apart and it made no sense why these friends, who knew my work, knew positive psychology, had still made that decision to not be here.

Speaker 2:

So I had some real soul searching to do to arrive at the point where I realized that we don't get to choose who we help and how we help.

Speaker 2:

We don't get to always choose whose life we save, but I know that when we show up to do the work and we act with pure intention and we're focused on making a contribution and creating an impact, lives will be saved.

Speaker 2:

And we're literally seeing that right now through positive psychology science, where I decided to geek out and really start to explore like why do people do this? Why do some people go through adversity and they decide to go on to perform better than ever before? I know you're like that. You've like taken life and you've really decided to live it to the max. And then some people decide, actually I don't want to be here anymore and it feels too hard. So I just got fascinated about this thing and it was probably about four or five years ago now that I started doing the research and I just found so much that is buried in journal articles and science where people have been running these experiments for like 20 years, and positive psychology to bring the science of hope and optimism together into a place where we can see that the things that we do daily and the preventative efforts that we make are actually impactful and proven in the science to prevent suicides as well.

Speaker 1:

So, for those of you listening, you can see why nick is like such a superstar, because this is a big topic. You know, I worked in mental health for over 20 years. I have been around this kind of information in various guises in very raw guises, in very difficult situations and it's definitely something that I know. Conversations really make a huge impact in people in various ways.

Speaker 1:

So when I went to catch up with Nick recently at her fabulous book launch, which we'll talk about in a little while, there are a few things that really came to light, and one of them is about this bravery piece that Nick has in terms of leading the way, because there will have been many people and you may be like this listening. That's like how does positive psychology, which is the whole science of well being and happiness, actually really help when people may be feeling in that polar opposite extreme or place in their life? How can they even be paired together? So let's talk, nick, about how they are paired and actually so many synchronicities, similarities, that it's definitely such a big part of your work but that it can't not be paired.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly, and I think that it's a good question and it's something that's important to bring forwards, because it seems like it's an oversimplification of suicide prevention and it is a simplification, but that's actually a strength and not a weakness weakness. So I feel like it's easy to think, oh well, what are these tiny little tools? What difference are they going to make? But actually we've seen that when you take small positive steps in the right direction, that compounds to create big results over time. So I don't teach and I'm not an expert in crisis intervention, but I am an expert in prevention. So what we want to look at is how can we actually build a new way of being with ourselves and with each other in society so that we are able to live better lives and we're able to feel better more of the time? So the two things are not actually independent. The two things are the same thing. So when we're focused on prevention, we're able to enjoy our days more, we're able to build deeper resilience, we're able to know what to say if somebody is struggling, we know how to show up for ourselves and for each other.

Speaker 2:

And I just feel like, because there was so much shame around the topic of mental health that we haven't been accustomed to having these conversations at the dinner table and through the writing and the research for the book, I have found myself sometimes apologizing or asking the question like are you guys all right with me speaking about this?

Speaker 2:

Because I've realized that it's very normal for me now to just show up and be like oh yeah, yeah, this thing's happening in suicide prevention and this thing's happening and I realize it's not necessarily normalized for everyone else yet. However, anytime I've asked that question, my friends and guests at dinner have said, oh my goodness, yes, like, please, like. This is so refreshing for us and we want to have this conversation, we want to be talking about this because I felt like this, or my husband or wife felt like this, or my kids' friends are feeling like this, so I just think it's like the big elephant in the room. And after COVID, when we realized the damage that being isolated had done, we now recognize loneliness is an issue in and of itself and we get to do something about that right now. So seeing mental health spoken about on Instagram or on social media and in mainstream media just feels like a huge yes for me.

Speaker 1:

And I think I really love that, nick.

Speaker 1:

But I think there's this piece, isn't it around this, like health being everything, and I know you and I've talked about this when I worked with you in different guises, because my background is so interlinked with health and the mind and body.

Speaker 1:

But health is holistic. It's the bits that go super well, where you feel on fire and everything feels full of love, and it's the bits where you feel like you are full of shame, guilt, worry, anxiety and every other emotion. It's all part of living and all part of life and I think for you, leading the way to normalize conversations like this is just super powerful, super potent, potent and really needed in in in my personal opinion, but also in my experience. So let's talk about how we can share some of your words of wisdom, talk about your new book, and let's talk about what you just told me before we came on air, about how it's already really creating those life changing moments for people where they have a realization and a sense of purpose and they're able to give themselves some space and grace to look after themselves in a very different way.

Speaker 2:

Thank you. I think something that I've realized through this journey is that, in one way or another, suicide has touched pretty much every single person that I've spoken with. When I did the book launch event, actually, I had a line for the book signing that lasted two hours because everybody had a story, and I just think that's amazing that we're able to recognize how much of a social issue this has been. So suicide is actually. 2023 saw the highest rates of suicide that we've ever seen. Suicide is also the most preventable cause of death. So I think when you put those two things together and we realized that actually the suicide attempts are the biggest predictor of a successful suicide, so if we can prevent the attempt, we can prevent the suicide. Now I have known the power of this work because I felt it and I felt the alignment when I've made choices and made decisions to lean further into the book, whether it's been my publisher being a full yes for it and then giving me permission to write it in the first place, or whether it's been hearing the songs that remind me of my friends that passed and it's like oh cool, like it's a sign to keep on going, or whether it's like big media publications and TV shows that are saying, yeah, nick, come on like we want to, we want you to talk about this it's felt like all of the energy is going in such a powerful direction. And then when you hear the personal stories so we interviewed so many survivors for the book itself. So there's a lot of context in there, not just from my personal and professional experience, but from real people who've decided to keep on going one more day.

Speaker 2:

And this week I had someone reach out and say thank you because they'd come to a mastermind event that I was speaking at and they were in the audience and didn't say anything. When we were there, I was actually speaking about sales and marketing, so I wasn't even talking about psychology, but my friend. So I invested in a SaaS company, a tech company, so the co-founder of the company grabbed my book and put it just behind on the bookshelf so that anyone who was in the audience could actually see the book, and she said that she loves reading and she just automatically went and downloaded the book, didn't think anything else of it, didn't even really know what it was about. She said that when she went home she slipped into a really dark place and she'd actually she thought that she wasn't going to be here for a long time. She'd lost a bunch of friends, she'd really been struggling and suffering, and then she remembered that she'd bought the book. So she intuitively went to the book and she listened to it and she messaged me and she said Nick, thank you so much.

Speaker 2:

I've been listening to your book all day. I, like, wasn't going to be here, I wasn't going to keep on going and I decided that I am. She then went on to Amazon and wrote like the most amazing review, and I'm just like blown away by the power of one more day to actually save lives, because what we found is that suicidal thinking is temporary and it's fleeting. So you might have that thought in a minute and it might seem like the only thing that you can think about, but, just like this lady, then it's gone, you experience a shift and now she won't do that. She's like I feel like you were the bridge, and the book was the bridge to my new version of life, my new commitment to living and finding more reasons to do that.

Speaker 1:

And that is just like all of the feels, nick. That is all of the reasons why you've done it, isn't it on so many levels? So for people listening, underneath the notes there'll be the link to get Nick's book. There'll be linked to the Amazon as well, so you can see the review in amongst many that Nick's talking about. But let's just talk a minute for you as a leader and imagining, you know multiple pieces, people all over the world that are going to have that kind of reaction. Let people know a little bit about where your real focus is. What's kind of the big mission in this one more day journey? What's kind of the big aim?

Speaker 2:

I've got it stuck on the wall up here so I can see it. I don't need to see it because I remember every day. But it says impact a billion people through positive psychology coaching. So I know the power of the ripple effect and for every single person that experiences positive psychology person that experiences positive psychology, they're able to impact 135 people. So I know I can't possibly impact a billion people on my own.

Speaker 2:

So it got me thinking about how I can actually fulfill that mission and the way that I've like mapped it out strategically is I certified 10,000 positive psychology coaches in the academy and then you guys go and you have a thousand student transformations and then your students are the ones that experience that shift and then they activate the ripple effect. So 10,000, a thousand000, and then 100 or 135 people it's more than a billion people. So when you look at it like that, my mission now is 10,000 positive psychology coaches certified, because I know that when I do that, the other layers are going to take care of themselves. And I just know the power of this work. Like you've seen it, you live and breathe it as well. It's not just a, it's not just tools, it's really a way of living and being, and I feel like everybody deserves to have that in their life.

Speaker 1:

I totally agree and being in that first ever cohort of positive psychology coaching academy back in 2022 one of 20 now, this is a big place where Nick has, you know, attracts some fabulous people. Definitely we'll put the link for that if you are called to training this. In my opinion, what makes positive psychology stand out and why I embrace it, why it's a big part of my journey and why it helps with all versions, all states of health, is it's an embodiment piece. We are not just going and learning intellectually on any way, shape or form. We are learning some statistics, we are learning some tools, but actually the magic is in the embodiment. It's in the living and the breathing and the sharing and the transforming and everything like that.

Speaker 1:

So let's give our listeners some tips. Nick, first of all, go and buy the book, share the book and all of those things. But what are some tips? If people are listening, they're like do you know what? I've got somebody and I just don't even know how to say, what to say. I don't even know how I'm going to approach it. I know there are people that listen that will be in that place where they feel awkward. They just don't know what they want to say something but they don't know where to start. I know this is covered in the book, but can we give people just like a starter to be able to help them move through their own resistance to be able to help somebody?

Speaker 2:

else 100%. So if someone is in crisis, you need to ask them super directly like are you thinking about taking your own life? So there's no like sugarcoating it. You ask directly. Then you say have you made a plan for that? And the best thing to do is to call 988, which is the suicide prevention hotline. You don't have to be in crisis to actually call or text that number. So I learned that through writing the book. So Samaritans read and approved and endorsed the book, same with American Society, american Foundation for Suicide Prevention, which makes me feel really like we've done a really good job with it. And that is the protocol.

Speaker 2:

If someone is in crisis, if you're concerned about someone's well-being and they're not necessarily in a crisis still asking tactful, direct questions is the best place to start. So we want to say how are you feeling today? And continue to ask tell me more. Or how are you really feeling when someone gives you that stock answer of yeah, yeah, I'm fine or yeah, I'm good? Because what we've seen is that that has become some sort of social norm where it's like yeah, I'm good, it's like it doesn't mean anything anymore. So how are you feeling on a scale of 1 to 10 right now.

Speaker 2:

Okay, cool, tell me a little bit more about that, and just don't be afraid to get curious and be in that conversation with someone, because for someone to know that you really care can literally be the difference between life or death. Okay, sometimes people just need to listen, they need to feel heard and held, and we know that having a sense of belonging is actually the number one protective factor when it comes to mental health and suicide. So you just being there, getting someone out for a walk, getting them to move their body, getting them in nature, like a 10 minute walk, is worth its weight in gold, because you can then open these conversations, you can get people to shift their physical body, which can help shift their psychology. You can then get them into a positive practice and a positive habit. That feels enjoyable and it starts something bigger. But the point is we do need to start. So, instead of just thinking about it, just take an action, look after yourself, make sure that you're resourced, and then we can go and support others as well.

Speaker 1:

That's a really poignant point Definitely make sure you're resourced yourself before you reach out, because it's really important. That isn't it and I know that a lot of people that listen are in my world of the switch that I help people with is this over delivering, helping everybody else and they're last on the list to be able to really be of service. And one of the things Nick's taught me um in various guises is you have to 100% be on your um. I don't really like a game, but I'm going to say top game, in that you're aware of your feelings, you're aware of your emotional health, you're aware of where your energy is, you're aware of how you're moving through your days and there is capacity for you to be able to support others and from that space and place then you can really deliver real heartfelt um, powerful conversations with people absolutely and we want.

Speaker 2:

We want to be supporting each other from a place of having practiced and used the tools for ourselves so we can actually describe like oh, this helped me feel like this and I know that this can work for you too. Rather than skipping the middle step and just learning it and then trying to teach it, you want to embody it, like you say, and make sure that you're actually feeling strong and resourced in yourself first.

Speaker 1:

And that's a really great point. So for me to share in terms of one more day, go and buy one more day and read it for yourself, whether you feel like absolutely. You know I've got the greatest life, I'm feeling super stable, I'm feeling all of the things and I'm in a really great place. Please don't have any fear or hesitation, thinking that it's going to take you to a dark place, because it really isn't. It's an opener and it's a toolkit and it's a resource for you and, like nick said when I went to her book launch, you'll never you never know when some of the information in the book is going to really come to light for people in your world or yourself. We just don't know, and so being able to have this information to hand and in your toolkit is really powerful, really empowering and just transformational. So what are the next steps, nick?

Speaker 2:

So next steps? You can go to OneMoreDayBookcom and grab the book. Next steps for me is I'm actually doing a TED talk about suicide prevention, which is really, really exciting. If you have read the book or if, even if you started reading and there's a section that you love in there, please do leave a review. Like I've really realized the power of the reviews for other people to really see that this book is for them. I think that there's been a misconception that mental health is only for you if you're suffering, and that's completely like the opposite of the point that we're trying to make here. This is for everyone. It's a book about hope. It's a book about you being able to live a better life, no matter what that looks like for you. There's literally something in there for everyone so thank you.

Speaker 1:

So so much, nick. You know I adore you. I'm thinking that we're going to make this like a trilogy. What's the third episode going to be on, nick?

Speaker 2:

I've got the third book coming out as well. I'm working on another book now, unstoppable success, which is a business book for positive psychology and that that will definitely let's come back, come back together and talk about that.

Speaker 1:

That will be my. That was part of my journey, wasn't it? So let's talk about that for certain. Thank you so so much. I adore your mission. I adore you for everything that you're doing. Leading the way for so many people in so many guys is nick. So please tune in and go read the book, because it's going to have some tools for you, and go follow Nick. She is like a magic person on so many levels. Take care and I will see you on the next episode.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode. I hope that you're feeling energized, fearless and inspired to take action today to stand in your greatness. And inspired to take action today to stand in your greatness. I share even more tools and resources on my I Dare to Leap email newsletter. By signing up, you not only get early access to the I Dare to Leap products and services, but you also get brand new podcast episodes delivered straight to your inbox every Monday, meaning you'll never miss your weekly dose of Becoming Fearless energy. Sign up now at wwwidaretoleapcom. Forward slash newsletter or click the link in the show notes below.

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